WittyLeaks – October 31, 2016

Happy Halloween.   I think Halloween should be reserved for kids.  I’m not a big fan of adults getting dressed up for Halloween.  Cut off age should be around 13.   But that rule is suspended when you get to college.   College is where you get to be a kid again.


I drove past a highly-efforted Halloween decorated house.   There were spider webs and ghouls and goblins and monsters all around the house.    They also had a “Hillary For President” campaign poster.    I wasn’t sure if they were supporters for Hillary or consider that a frightening adornment.


Is it too early to give the Time Magazine’s Person of the Year award to Julian Assange?


Howard Stern was funnier when he wasn’t allowed to say things.


Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton says he doesn’t feel safe on the field because the refs allow the defense to pound him viciously.   The Colts Andrew Luck feels the same way because of his offensive line.


Waiting for Hillary to say, “Stonewall it”


Worth repeating . . . . I heard it said that Hillary and Trump are each running against the only person they could beat.


My daughters Danielle and Dominique turn 21 on Tuesday.    Yikes!  How did that happen!    Dominique is currently doing a semester in Florence, Italy “studying” abroad.   Danielle is in Villanova counting down the minutes to midnight, awaiting her first legal drink.  Back in my day, 18 was the legal age to drink in New York.    I spent my 18th birthday like most of us did at the time . . . drinking at our usual place.


Watching scary movies for Halloween?   Here’s a spoiler.  When the girl goes in the basement, something will jump out after she makes the third turn.   It will be a cat.   After you shriek and then slowly begin to recover, the guy with the hatchet will suddenly attack.


Enjoying the World Series?   Now that it’s back in Cleveland, I’ll be rooting hard for the Indians.   I always want to see the Series clinched at the home field.   In ’96, I went to Game 6 at Yankee Stadium when the Yankees beat the Atlanta Braves for their first championship in 18 years.     18 years!  Can you imagine?   I tried to order tickets over the phone on Ticketron the morning they went on sale.  I had to give up when I had to get to work.   The babysitter said she would try for me.  I left my credit card and by the time I got to work she called and said she got 4 bleacher tickets for Game 6.   I was so elated I offered her 2 tickets before I could think better of it.

The Yankees lose Game 1 and 2 at Yankee Stadium.  In order for there to be a Game 6, the Yankees would have to win 2 of the next 3 in Atlanta.   I wasn’t too confident.  But the Yankees won all 3 games.  Now Game 6 at Yankee Stadium became the potential clincher.   And it was.  The Yankees won.  World Series champions!    Denise and I rolled out of the bleachers onto River Avenue to revel with the revelers.   Over the loud screams and chants and excitement, Denise shouts into my ear, “Are you ready?!”

I look back and ask with worry, “Ready?  For what?”

“To go home,” she says.


I realize she’s probably right.    I say, “Let me get a quart of beer at the bodega and we’ll go after that.”

It was probably the right move.   No real good was going to come from overstaying the night.  As it was, I could barely talk the next day.  I was screamed out.   Joe Girardi’s triple in that game is still the loudest I ever heard Yankee Stadium.  The quietest was George Brett’s 7th-inning, 3-run homer in the 1980 playoffs against the KC Royals.


Why do the Browns wear orange jerseys?


The only way the Native American protests against North Dakota pipeline could get news coverage is if Chief Wahoo made an appearance.




  1. Mike H · October 31, 2016

    Hey Mike, a Halloween newsletter and no mention of the recent death of Zacherley? Or maybe he was before your time? His “Dinner with Drac” song is much more fun than Monster Mash, which gets played about every 5 minutes at this time of year.


  2. Niles K · November 7, 2016

    Orange is the New Brown


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