TUESDAY MAY 19, 2015. Show #4213
Bill Murray, and Bob Dylan. May 20th/May 21st; Television Evangelist of the Night; CBS Affiliate Roundup; a Top Ten list; somebody invited Regis; and a visit from Rupert for “Fun With Rupert”
From the light shining at the end of a long dark tunnel, it’s the Late Show with David Letterman. Tonight: Bill Murray, and music from Bob Dylan. Plus: Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra. I’m Alan Kalter. And now, Broadway’s most in-demand triple threat . . . . . . . . . . David Letterman!
- “Tonight, Bill Murray is on the show . . . and next week I’ll be Googling ‘Foods that improve prostate health’”
- You may know that we’re wrapping up things here the 20th, and everyone’s asking me what I’m going to do. To give you an idea, we put together this segment called, “May 20th / May 21st”
ART CARD: MAY 20TH / MAY 21ST
ANNOUNCE: “May 20th” – we see Dave running across the stage to open the show.
ANNOUNCE: “May 21st” – we see the exterior of Dave’s house. Nighttime. The phone rings. We see the lights come on and a silhouette of Dave running from one end of the house to the other to get the phone. Although, it was probably Dave running away from the ringing phone.
Hey, how ‘bout this . . . it’s never been done before . . . . “Television Evangelist Highlight Of The Night.”
ART CARD: TELEVISION EVANGELIST HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT
ANNOUNCE: “Reverend Doctor Kenneth Davis, Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church.”
We cut to the preaching Reverend loudly pontificating to his congregation. Lots of “Hey” and “Ow” and “All right” like a bad James Brown impersonator. The Reverend then continues, “Just one more thing. . . just one more thing. . . when David Letterman . . . . . . had his late night show . . . . . my favorite moment . . . . was his Top Ten Countdown . . . . .”
ART CARD: TELEVISION EVANGELIST HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT
Now who wouldn’t go to that?
And then I went out on stage during the commercial break and gave a blue card to Bill Scheft: Dave should refer to tonight’s Top Ten as “The Top Ten Countdown.” BUZZZZ! But it should have been a DING! It would have cost nothing and we would have gotten something out of it.
We’ve been here at CBS for 22 years and we couldn’t have done it without the support of all the great CBS affiliates. We took a moment tonight to honor the affiliates in “CBS Affiliate Roundup.”
ART CARD: CBS AFFILIATE ROUNDUP
We see a news anchor Jocelyn Connor from CBS 48: “The countdown is on for David Letterman’s final Tonight Show” – BUZZ!
CBS See News anchor Eva Mastrometteo: “This week, the retirement of Tonight Show host David Letterman . . .” BUZZZ!
KLBK – “When we come back, just three more shows left for David Letterman, on the Tonight Show. . . “BUZZZ!
Local 12 News: “The biggest Hollywood stars are making their final stops on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.” BUZZZ!
Local 6 News: Anchor 1: “You still like David Letterman?”
Anchor 2: “I do like him but, you know, but it’s hard to watch sometimes . . . .” DING!
Hey, whoa! What’s this? It’s Regis!
Regis drinks in the applause, pushing Dave aside to enjoy it. It’s all for him and he doesn’t want Dave stealing even a drop of it.
DAVE: “It’s Regis! Hello, Regis! You look wonderful! What brings you around?”
REGIS: “I can’t believe you’re ending this show. Ed Sullivan should see this place. You know, I’ve been coming around here for decades.”
DAVE: “You know, you’ve been here, like, 150 times, more than anyone else . . . . . seems like more than 150, but . . . ”
REGIS: “But now you’re leaving! So where does that leave Regis? Where am I gonna go? These people won’t know where I am?”
DAVE: “I got my own problems.”
REGIS: “I have an idea. How about booking me for the last show?”
DAVE: “Last show? No dice. Sorry. Booked solid. We couldn’t even squeeze you in for this bit.”
They then chat about Regis being a master communicator.
REGIS: “How about letting me be on your second-to-last show?!”
DAVE: “No, that’s not possible.”
REGIS: “Too late, because I’m ON the second-to-last show!”
Say goodnight, Regis.
Regis exits out the back of the house to great applause. Paul and the band play peppy music, hoping that would make Regis’ exit peppy. It didn’t.
Top Ten fAMOUS LAST WORDS
It was decided a long time ago that Dave would have a Top Ten information blue card no matter what the Top Ten topic. It would help explain why we were doing the Top Ten. This actually made it easier for me because it removed my having to decide whether one was needed. When the category was obvious, Dave usually would not even refer to the informational blue card, which I thought would be the case tonight. But much to my surprise, he read the topic lead-in to help sell the premise.
“I’m feeling great” – Douglas Fairbanks
“Et tu, Brute’” – Julius Caesar
“I’m bored with it all” – Winston Churchill.
Not only was I surprised he referred to it, but I was pretty shocked when I watched at home and it stayed in. Dave’s explanation to what didn’t need explaining is usually the first thing cut. But here it stayed.
I hope I write something Wednesday night. I don’t want the Famous Last Words list to be the last thing I ever got on.
TOP TEN FAMOUS LAST WORDS
10. “Lightning! Everyone under the tree!”
9. “You’re parked in my spot, Mr. Capone”
8. “Bring the karaoke machine over to the hot tub”
7. “Do you guys hear a drone?”
6. “Thanks for seeing me, Dr. Oz”
5. “Damn right I’m healthy enough for sex”
4. “May I take a selfie, Ms. Streisand?”
3. ‘We’ll save money by hitchhiking”
2. “Jack Hanna said it won’t bite.”
1. “One scoop of Blue Bell Ice Cream, please.”
Let’s say hello to our good friend, Rupert.
Rupert joins Dave for a brief chat of those harrowing days of Fun With Rupert. Dave would send Rupert out among various city establishments. Dave would be hiding nearby in a van with a walkie-talkie. Rupert would have a small camera embedded in his eyeglasses, and an earpiece to hear what Dave was saying. And whatever Dave said, Rupert would repeat to the proprietor or customer. And why did we stop this? Says Rupert, “Because somebody pulled a knife on us.” Wow! What a team player! Rupert says a guy “pulled a knife on us!” On US! Like, him and Dave! No, Rupert, a guy pulled a knife on you. Dave was Merlin Perkins safely tucked away in the van.
We then take a look at some of the greatest hits of “Fun With Rupert” – first installment December 2, 1994.
The poor woman at the restaurant . . . I was there for that one. And afterwards, I had to approach her and ask if she would sign a release form so we could show her on the TV. She had no ear for me. She wanted nothing to do with me if I had something to do with him (Rupert). How did we get the woman to sign? It was the great Jill Leiderman who got the job done. Chased her down blocks away and knocked on the taxi window.
Did you recognize the introduction? It was the same one from the first Late Night show back in 1982.
The scrim rises and two models wheel out a huge “Good Bye, Dave” cake. And then tumbling out of the cake is the great Bill Murray. He is gobbed up in cake frosting. He hugs Dave, leaving much of the icing on the host, and then proceeds into the audience to hugs some who want to be hugged, and wiping the cake frosting on the faces of others. Dave praises the professionalism of Bill Murray. If you ever think of doing anything like this, don’t forget the protective cake goggles.
Dave shares a little Late Show trivia. Bill Murray was our first guest at Late Night in 1982. And he was our first guest here on the Late Show in 1993. Here at the Ed, Bill came rushing through the side doors out of breath. He had mistakenly gone to the other theater and didn’t realize Dave had a new place. He raced over and rushed through the side door from 53rd Street to inside the theater. And ever since, we have referred to that door as The Bill Murray Doors.
“Caddyshack” – 35 years ago. It was written by Bill’s brother and Bill did ad-lib most of his scenes. What he remembers about it was it was shot in Florida in the winter, so nobody was in a rush to get the film done. And not many lines were written for him, so he had to improvise. They liked what he was doing so he kept at it.
Bill always has something when he’s on the show. He puts a lot into each appearance. I knew that, but not until you see our highlight reel do you realize how much fun he brought to the show every time he was here.
And then Bill runs outside to Broadway, shuts down traffic, and sings
ANNOUNCE: “Join us tomorrow for Dave’s final show! An hour of fun and surprises! Also, tickets are still available for June, July, and August. Send your request to:
The Ed Sullivan Theater
New York, New York 10019”
From his new album, “Shadows In The Night,” Bob Dylan performed “The Night We Called It A Day.” I was hoping for something more Bob Dylan-ish, but who am I to question Bob Dylan? He hit it perfectly. I should realize by now that he knows what he’s doing.
“The Night We Called It A Day”
And that was our show for Tuesday May 19, 2015.
The party at the Friars Club on Saturday night . . I was asked who was there. Anybody who was once somebody was there.
The Bill Murray highlight clip. I smiled when I saw Bill doing “the cape thing” with Paul. Every Friday some years ago, Paul would sing during the ACT 5 recreating the James Brown thing with the cape. A surprise celebrity would come out and try to escort the exhausted James Brown/Paul Shaffer off the stage. Halfway off, the call of the audience would force James Brown to return to the microphone for more. Paul would recreate this every Friday. On this one Friday, writers’ segment producer Jill Leiderman had no one to come in with the cape and try to escort Paul off the stage. She was desperate for somebody . . . anybody. I suggested Bill Murray. She grimaced a bit and said, “No, he’s out of town.” I hesitated, then told her, “No, he’s not.” She wondered how I knew. Bill Murray lived in my area at the time. His kids went to the same elementary school as my girls. I drove my girls in to school this day and walked them inside. As I was leaving, I saw a guy with a very interesting Russian-style winter hat. And then just as I passed him, I realized it was Bill Murray. Pretty cool sighting. I told Jill the story and she soon got on the horn. She called Bill Murray and he agreed to come in. Before hanging up, he asked, “How did you know I was around.” Jill laughed, but wouldn’t give up her source. “I got my ways” was all she offered.
I was watching the CBS Sunday Morning Show this weekend. I was half-listening as I was in the middle of ironing. I was ironing some shirts because I had a lineup of shirts for the next 3 days of shows. I was going to wear a tie for each show. You never know who is in the audience. So I was half-listening to Bob Schieffer and every now and then his guest would say something that would catch my interest. I would double my listening effort for the rest of the interview, but then Bob wouldn’t repeat the name of the guest. Who was he talking to? So here is a suggestion to Bob and the CBS Morning Show while I still have a soap box. Many people are like me while watching the Sunday morning news shows. They are usually doing something else, perhaps eating breakfast, reading the Sunday paper, or like me, ironing shirts for work. They miss the introduction. And then when you hear something and listen closer, you never get to find out who was being interviewed. My tip o’ the day: repeat the guest’s name at the end of each interview. A simple, “Thank you, Senator Moynihan” would do the trick.
One show left, and I’m talking about Bob Schieffer.
Here’s something to take with you when the Wahoo isn’t around. When watching a late night talk show and there is a cutaway to the bandleader or the announcer for no real apparent reason, an edit had just been made. It’s fun to play the game. We used to do it all the time; either a cutaway to Paul or years ago, a cutaway to an audience member. Now our edits usually came right after a video clip. All the shows do it. Yeah, I’m like that rebel magician who tells the secret to all the magic tricks..
I’m waiting for the elevator on the 12th floor to go down just before the show. Art Kelly is on the phone with a fan. The patience of Art Kelly is just incredible. The nonsense calls he gets are endless, yet he handles every call with professionalism and politeness that isn’t warranted. It’s why I had to laugh when the elevator door was closing and I hear Art sweetly snap into the phone, “Well, call us back on Monday, then.”
Hey, how ‘bout that?! I’m not alone! From near-sighted Clay Thomas:
“I loved your quick story about memorizing the eye chart in school. I did the same thing because I didn’t want to wear glasses. It worked once but the second time I tried it I screwed up. I memorized the smallest line but couldn’t remember the line right above it. The test nurse was incredulous. ‘How can read read the smallest line but you can’t read the bigger one right above it!!??’
Yeah, let that be a lesson, parents. Kids can be stupid for the stupidest of reasons.
The Wahoo Gazette – it ends with the show. But for more of me, and can you ever get too much of me? For more of me, check out www.mikemcintee.wordpress.com. There’s something there now but it’s just a placeholder until I’m done with this and go on to that. I haven’t checked in on it for a few weeks now, but I will soon. The show is keeping me kinda busy, believe it or not.
ARE THEY STILL READING THE WAHOO GAZETTE?
From Appleton, Wisconsin, it’s Rick Steenis. Is Rick Steenis still reading the Wahoo Gazette?
This concludes another installment of ARE THEY STILL READING THE WAHOO GAZETTE?
CAMEO MENTION OF AN AFL NEWSGROUP ORIGINAL
Our dear friends no longer with us, Boston Bill Enswiler, and Maybeso, Laura Ryan
This concludes the debut of a Cameo Mention of an AFL Original.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA Glenn Wadman
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
The Wahoo Gazette . . . where the first draft is the final draft.
Surprise me in your will!
Michael Z. McIntee