WAHOOTWO – FEBRUARY 18, 2016
Whenever I try to make sense of Donald Trump’s hair, my mental GPS keeps telling me “Recalculating”
Jumping the Shark?
Has Facebook and Twitter jumped the shark? Dum-Dum Lollipops now has a Facebook and Twitter page. “Like us on Faceboook and follow us on Twiter! Go to www.dumdumpops.com for a direct link.” Do you really want to be part of a club that includes Dum-Dum Lollipops?
But, honestly, the only reason I go inside my local Chase Bank is for the free Dum-Dum Lollipops.
This is how the Irish think. My neighbor sees me dressed in a suit on a Tuesday morning. I tell him I’m going to a funeral in Yonkers. Does he offer condolence? Does he express sympathy? No. He says, “And then Rory Dolan’s afterwards! Nice! Have a good time.”
And I did.
I recently stopped putting milk and sugar in my coffee simply because I like how it sounds to order a black coffee.
To prepare for the eventual overhaul during the final days at the Late Show, I brought in a Late Show backpack to assist in the eventual empyting of the supply closet. I helped myself to computer paper, scotch tape, pens, envelopes, stationery, rubberbands, and anything else I could shove in my bag. And then I would repeat the next day. I felt I was doing the building crew a favor by lightening their load. Jump ahead 8 months. It’s January and Denise and I are going to Puerto Rico for a week. I find my Late Show backpack to use as my carry-on. I fill it with books, magazines, CDs, a CD player, headphones, and stuff for the flight down. Once in the hotel, I unpack my carry-on bag. And what do I come across is 4 boxcutters. I wonder where these came from and then realize I probably stuffed them in my bag during the Late Show escape. But . . . how did they get past airport security? Four boxcutters? In my carry-on? Yikes. It could have been a very embarrassing and humiliating experience. Thank you, TSA, for the work you do.
Cheap guy that I am, my first thought when I discovered the boxcutters was “How can I get these back home?”
The good news is I was able to use one of the boxcutters to shave down a corn.
Reaping rewards . . . For Christmas, I bought my wife Denise tickets to a Carole King/Tapestry album tribute concert. The date of the concert . . . February 14th. See what I did there? Christmas gift . . . . . tickets to a show. Valentine’s Day gift . . . . going to a show. One stone, two birds. You’re welcome.
Would you be willing to give up ten IQ points to lose 20 pounds?
Remember that playoff game a few weeks back between the Packers and the Cardinals where the referee had to re-flip the overtime coin toss because the coin didn’t flip the first time? I recalled I had a beef about a feeble opening coin toss at the Super Bowl. Was it last year’s Super Bowl? Maybe the year before. Or at most, three years ago. I knew I wrote about it in a Wahoo, so I looked it up.
It was 11 years ago. I’m thinking it was 2 years ago and it was eleven. That happens a lot now.
From the February 7, 2005 Wahoo Gazette.
PATRIOTS VS. BEARS
SUPER BOWL GRIPES: I refused to watch any of the pre-game. I settled in just in time for the opening coin toss. And it didn’t take long for me to start screaming at the TV. They had a local adolescent in a football uniform to do the opening coin toss. The referee explains to the players which is “heads” and which is “tails” on this special Super Bowl coin. Once that is established, it is announced the kid is going to toss the coin. And the kid tosses it up without a flip! Gee whiz, it was obvious the kid never tossed a coin before in his life. It went flat up and flat down. It looked like a spaceship. There was no flip to the coin at all. I would have sworn the kid had money on the opening coin toss! (Yes, there is a betting line on the opening toss.) I scream at the TV, “DIDN’T ANYBODY GO OVER THE COIN TOSS WITH THE KID?!” Everything has to be rehearsed! You can take NOTHING for granted. I always say, “If it’s not rehearsed, expect the worst.”
Admit it, you miss the Wahoo Gazette, don’t you? It was a wry delight.
Congratulations to Coach Bob McIntee and West Point’s Army Alpine Ski team victory over the Navy Midshipmen at the Victor Constant Ski Slope last week.
After I learned that I would be “retiring” from the Late Show and spending a lot time at home, I was a bit concerned that Denise and I would eventually run out of conversation. But that hasn’t been the case at all. Unfortunately, most of our conversations end with, “And how will we pay for that?”