WAHOOTWO – JULY 28, 2015

WAHOOTWO – July 28, 2015

 

 

I hope my saying “I’m in between jobs” is not just wishful thinking.

 

 

Baseball All-Star game idea . . . no sport does their history better than baseball and since there is so much nostalgia surrounding the All-Star game, how about the teams wear throw-back jerseys?   Are you listening, Bowie Kuhn?  Call me.  I have more ideas.

 

It’s so hot, I’m dating Dolly Parton just for the shade.

 

You heard the story about the screaming kid at the diner.  The owner yelled at the child to pipe down.  Mom was upset.   A Facebook battle ensued.   I can live with a crying baby just as long as the parents are making an effort to comfort the child.   Go ahead and cry; I don’t care.   Been there.     I’m more bothered by the parents who sit unflinching, oblivious, myopic.  That’s what bothers me. Babies are babies.  Parents should be adults.   And if all attempts to quiet the babe fail, take the young ‘un outside until the food arrives.   As a new dad, I made the mistake once of being unprepared for my crying baby outburst at a restaurant.   I quickly learned to bring a bag of props and entertainment wherever we went; cookies, crayons, dolls, toys.   Eventually you learn it’s not worth going out to eat with a toddler.

When I would go solo to McDonalds with the twins, I would order from the drive-thru, get the food, and THEN go inside.  I’d make them eat first before going into the germ-free ball pit.

Disney, going out to eat with the kids, taking a plane . . . the only parental advice I give when asked: “When you think they’re ready, wait two years.”

 

Looks like decathlon champ Bruce Jenner has added another event.

 

Heat wave on its way to New York City.   The hot in New York City is always hotter than anywhere else.   The only enjoyment I get from an NYC heat wave is hearing the Mayor’s suggestion that to keep cool, you should stay in an air conditioned room.   Genius!   They are so much smarter than us.

 

It’s so hot, I’m dating Dolly Parton just for the shade.

 

Did you watch Sharknado3?   I skipped it.  I was afraid I wouldn’t understand it since I missed the first two.

 

$15-an-hour for fast food workers?  Well, at least I can always have that to fall back on.

Life is like the game of Jenga.  Take out a peg, move a peg, adjust a peg, manipulate a peg . . . and the whole thing may come tumbling down.   Jump the minimum wage up to $15 and there will likely be some unforeseen consequences.   The McDonald’s Horn & Hardart Automat, anybody?

 

Imagine how good the Mets pitching staff would be if they could pitch against the Mets.

 

A time machine . . . you think it doesn’t exist?  Well, it does, and I got to use the time machine again last weekend.    For 42 years on the 3rd weekend in July, scores and scores of Bronxites travel north up Route 17 to set camp and then canoe down the Delaware River.   So how is this a time machine?   Because for 50 people who were born when there were 48 states it’s like we’re back in 1976.   It’s like we are 18 once again.  The years disappear.  2015 turns into 1976.  The drink and dance and music and laughs on the canoe trip are aplenty.  Lies are told about each other and we laugh.  Truths are told and we laugher even harder.    New memories are created.   Old memories are shared with those who can’t remember and there is no need to explain why they can’t.

No kids, no cellphones, no apologies.

Ask what we’re doing tomorrow  . . . we don’t know.

Ask what we’re doing this weekend . . . . we don’t know.

But ask us what we’re doing the 3rd Saturday in July.

Some think of the canoe trip as “Christmas in July.”  More consider Christmas to be “December’s Canoe Trip”

When I come home from the canoe trip, my wife Denise always asks, “So where’s your dirty clothes?”   My answer is always the same: “I’m wearing it.”  I never seem to get around to changing.

Outside of the actual canoeing, the canoe trip is great.

 

Surprise me in your will.

 

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOOTWO READER

Formerly of the Quad Cities, it’s K. Steavenson

This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOOTWO READER

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One comment

  1. Dave Sikula · July 28, 2015

    Mike, Mike, Mike. Bowie Kuhn isn’t commish anymore. It’s General Eckert.

    Like

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