WAHOOTWO – June 19, 2015


Why didn’t somebody tell me this was for real?  I thought the retirement-talk was just a ratings ploy.


I had two recent Late Show flashbacks and pangs of nostalgia.   I was driving through Pennsylvania the other day and drove past a Hosey Cow proudly displayed on someone’s front yard.   Remember those halcyon Hosey Cow days? 

“The Hosey Cow  . . . . it’s like having a cow urinate on your kids!”


I think the Hosey is my next garage sale search.


And the other Late Show reminder was when I went to see the Carol King bio musical “Beautiful” on Broadway Wednesday night.    During the show, the Drifters made an appearance and performed the song, “On Broadway.”   But I couldn’t think of the Drifters at all.   All I could think of was Andrea Martin and Darlene Love singing “On Broadway” during the Paul Shaffer tribute piece.


And then there was the no-hitter thrown by the San Francisco Giants pitcher against the Mets in New York.  There was a Top Ten that was missed.  I was picturing Late Show producer Brian Teta waiting with phone-in-hand during the last two innings to make the booking.    I also thought of Teta during the Stanley Cup finals and NBA championship series.   It must have been nice for him to watch some championship games without having to root for the star player who would be the easier booking.   It got weird when I was watching Game 6 between the Chicago Blackhawks and the Tampa Bay Lightning and my wife asked, “What are you thinking about?”   I mumbled, “Brian Teta.”


What have you seen recently that jarred you back to pre-May 20th?


By the way . . . “Beautiful” . . .  go see it.


The U.S. Treasury has decided to replace Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill with a woman.   Unfortunately, the ten-dollar bill will only be worth $7.90.


Why get rid of Alexander Hamilton?  He was a Founding Father, he wrote the Federalist Papers, and was a key figure in the establishment of our economic system.  And he was the nation’s first Secretary of the Treasury.    Why do that to one of your own?   If anyone should be replaced it should be Andrew Jackson from the twenty.  His record as President is spotty, at best, and as a person it was worse than that.   Why get rid of Hamilton and not Andrew Jackson?   My guess: the guy who made the announcement got them confused and now the Treasury is too embarrassed to admit it.   A simple, “Oh, yeah, that’s who I meant” would have fixed it fast, but now it may be too late.


Or maybe changing the ten is easier than changing the twenty. . . . something to do with the ATM machines.


Old . . . . I’m seeing stories on the 130th Anniversary of the Statue of Liberty.  I remember going to its 100th.   It really doesn’t seem like 30 years ago.   There’s a weekly free local newspaper I like to leaf through since it’s free.   On the second page there is a list of “This Week in Rockland County History.”   There will be a few paragraphs on the local happenings from 150 years ago, 100 years ago, and 50 years ago.   It hasn’t happened yet but I’m sure it will soon . . . . that I will remember an event from the “50 Years Ago” category.


Oh, you remember those now-legal fireworks in New York state that I talked about the other day . . . it’s not for my area.   32 counties in the state OK’d the decision to allow the sale of simple sparkler fireworks but my county was not one of them.  They’re still illegal in Rockland County but I can buy the fireworks 10 miles north in a K-Mart.  How is a kid going to learn that a spent sparkler is still hot unless they are given the opportunity to burn themselves? 


It’s been suggested I get a G-Mail account.  The AOL address makes me look old.   In that case, I should probably delete all my photos, too.


Damn.  I tried but I couldn’t find a place for “whilst” anywhere.



Brian Fies.

This concludes the premiere installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOOTWO READER


Michael Z. McIntee





  1. Carol Ann Verhulst · June 18, 2015

    OMG, so disappointed you didn’t use whilst. Come on, you could have googled that shit and made up a sentence. Such as.. Whilst I was in this agony of doubt and indecision, the drive suddenly came out on a shaded lawn dotted with flowering bushes. That totally would have fit in!

    Also, so sad you can’t get your sparklers! Rip off!! I grew up in St. Charles County, MO, just outside of St. Louis County, and we had fireworks tents galore there. I was a big ole baby and only like the sparklers, snaps and snakes. But grateful we could get those. I have lived in Miami for the last seven years and and next week I am moving back to the greater St. Louis area. I am very excited to be moving to a place I can afford rent and a car again. Thanks for making WahooTwo, I wish you luck in your job search, as that is where I am now also.

    -Carol Ann V.


  2. Helen Read · June 18, 2015

    What triggers the Late Show nostalgia for me is mostly items in the news. I hear something like the Rachel Dolezal story, or Brian Williams being brought back but only on MSNBC, and I expect to tune in and hear what Dave has to say about it. I expect Brian Williams to appear as a guest to talk about it with Dave.

    And the other day I was wearing my PANTS baseball cap, when a random person recognized what it was and said to me “Worldwide Pants Incorporated” and said something about Dave. I got a little verklempt.


  3. Helen Read · June 18, 2015

    You should post links to new Wahootwo blog posts on the Twitter.


  4. Aunt Pat · June 18, 2015

    Nice to see your fingers are still dancing on the ol’ keyboard. Keep at it, MikeMack. I’m liking this WAHOOTWO.


  5. Brian Teta · June 19, 2015

    Thanks for thinking of me! It’s been very weird. The jockey that won the triple crown too. Yesterday I called the NBA just to check in on which talk show was going to get the winner. I’ve been having stress dreams that I forgot to bring you the on-air page and the segment has already started…


  6. Alan Page · June 19, 2015

    I’m sure you felt a slight twinge without Dave mentioning LeBron losing to the Golden State Warriors in the NBA Championship. We now have 2 championship teams in the San Francisco Bay Area. Giants/Warriors


  7. James Langdell · June 19, 2015

    Your mention of Chris Heston inspired me to write this list.

    10. I could get a bit more social media cred to catch up with infielders Belt and Crawford and their precious Brandon Blog
    9. Staring at a guy holding up big hand-written signs for me to read would make me feel a little like outfielder Hunter Pence during away games
    8. I wanted to see if the Hello Deli serves garlic fries as tasty as at AT&T Park
    7. Since I’m a Heston, I assume my ten items would be carved on two stone tablets
    6. Standing in an ice-cold theater would condition me for pitching against Toronto
    5. I’ve heard that the CBS Orchestra sounds as good as the band former Giants coach Tim Flannery works with, the Grateful Dead
    4. I thought CBS might need me to throw some high hard ones to knock down parts of the stage
    3. If I need to go on another TV show, I’m afraid Fallon will ask me to toss beanbags at a clown face
    2. I wish I had a chance to meet Dave before he died, or whatever the hell happened
    1. So, where’s Grinder Girl hanging out these days?
    (Topic suggested indirectly by Mike McIntee in his WahooTwo blog.)


  8. Helen Read · June 20, 2015

    James’s Top Ten has inspired me to post one. I actually put this together with some help from James and Traci before our last annual trip (my 16th) to the Late Show on May 11, with hopes of getting called on in the Q&A and handing it to Dave, which needless to say didn’t happen.

    10. Hearing Paul and the band play “Freebird” in person
    9. Teaching the rats near our seats to do Stupid Pet Tricks
    8. Getting frisked by Bill Delace
    7. Seeing Alan Kalter in his underpants for the 17th year in a row
    6. Hypothermia
    5. Shoplifting Late Show merchandise from the Hello Deli
    4. Wagering amongst ourselves, even though it’s only an exhibition, not a competition
    3. Getting tossed out of the theater for repeatedly screaming “I love you, Regis!” during the monologue
    2. Staring at the cue card guy’s ass blocking our view of the stage for 50 minutes
    1. Dave


  9. Bob Shriver · June 20, 2015

    We need to get Helen over to AFL on Facebook. Any suggestions? Bribe her with that cameo mention bit? Oh, nice blog. You have talent.


  10. Brian Fies · June 20, 2015

    Wahoooo! I’m prouder than is probably appropriate to be the Cameo Mention!

    I’m glad you found all the comments awaiting moderation.

    These are good posts and you’re a good writer. You’re gonna all right…..


  11. Albert K · June 22, 2015

    I still have my Hosey Cow. The Last Great Miracle of the Millenium!


    • Albert K · June 22, 2015

      …Millennium, sorry.


  12. Susan Peterson · June 22, 2015

    You asked what takes us back.

    When I saw Donald Trump’s announcement last week, the first thing that came to mind was “Can’t wait to hear what Dave will have to say about this tonight”

    Good to see the WahooTwo up and running. Also good to know that you are a fan of Fernwood Tonight/America Tonight. Martin Mull and Fred Willard. Happy Kyne and the MirthMakers. Alta Coma Half-Toe Ballet.


  13. Susan Peterson · June 23, 2015

    Yesterday Ben Bernanke recommended that the face of Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill, rather than Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill, should be replaced.

    It looks as though Mike’s idea is gaining steam. Will his plan to move the Super Bowl to Presidents’ Day weekend be next?


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