Wahoo Gazette – Tuesday May 19th

THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT WITHOUT HELP FROM MY DAUGHTERS.  PLEASE BEAR WITH ME

TUESDAY MAY 19, 2015. Show #4213

Bill Murray, and Bob Dylan.  Plus: May 20th/May 21st; Television Evangelist of the Night; CBS Affiliate Roundup; a Top Ten List; somebody invited Regis, and a visit from Rupert for “Fun With Rupert.”

“From the light shining at the end of a long dark tunnel, it’s the Late Show with David Letterman.   Tonight: Bill Murray, and Bob Dylan.  Plus: Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra.  I’m Alan Kalter.  And now, Broadway’s most in-demand triple threat . . . . . . .   David Letterman!”

ACT 1:

MONOLOGUE

  • “Tonight, Bill Murray is on the show . . . and next week I’ll be Googling ‘Foods That Improve Prostate Health’”

You may know that we’re wrapping up things here the 20th, and everyone’s asking me what I’m going to do.  To give you an idea, we put together this segment called, ‘May 20th / May 21st.’”

ART CARD: MAY 20TH / MAY 21ST

ANNOUNCE: “May 20th” – we see Dave running across the stage go open the show.

ANNOUNCE: “May 21st” – we see the exterior of Dave’s house.  Nighttime.  The phone rings. We see the lights come on and a silhouette of Dave running from one end of the house to the other.   Not sure if he’s running towards the ringing phone, or like me at my house, running away from the ringing phone.

ART CARD: MAY 20TH / MAY 21ST

ANNOUNCE: “This has been ‘May 20th / May 21st‘”

Hey, how ‘bout this . . . it’s never been done before . . . “Television Evangelist Highlight of the Night.”

ART CARD: TELEVISION EVANGELIST HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT

ANNOUNCE: “Reverend Dr. Kenneth Davis, Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church.”

We cut to the preaching Reverend loudly pontificating go his congregations.  Lots of “Hey” and “Ow” and “All right” like a bad James Brown impersonator.   The Reverend then continues, “Just one more thing . . . just one more thing. . . .when David Letterman . . . had his late night show . . . .my favorite moment . . .was his Top Ten Countdown . . . “

ART CARD: TELEVISION EVANGELIST HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT

Now, who wouldn’t go to that?

This was so nice, we watched it twice.

And then I went out on stage during the commercial breast and gave a blue card to Bill Scheft, which read, “Dave should refer to tonight’s Top Ten as ‘The Top Ten Countdown.’”  BUZZZZ!

But it should been a “DING!”   It would have cost nothing and we would have gotten something out of it.

We’ve been here at CBS for 22 years and we couldn’t have done it without the support of all the great CBS affiliates.    We took a moment tonight to honor the affiliates in this “CBS Affiliate Roundup.”

ART CARD: CBS AFFILIATE ROUNDUP

  • We see news anchor Jocelyn Connell from CBS 46: “The countdown is on to David Letterman’s final ‘Tonight Show.’” BUZZZZ!
  • We see news anchor Eva Mastromatteo: “This week, the retirement of‘Tonight Show’ host David Letterman . . .” BUZZZZ!
  • We see a news anchor from KLBK: “When we come back, just three shows left for David Letterman on the‘Tonight Show!’” BUZZZZ!
  • We see a news anchor from Local 12 News: “The biggest Hollywood stars are making their final stops on the ‘Tonight Show with David Letterman’ …” BUZZZZ!
  • We see a news team from Local 6 News: Anchor 1: “Do you still like David Letterman?”
  • Female anchor: “I do like him but, you know, it’s hard to . . . watch the show sometimes . . .” DING!!!

ART CARD: CBS AFFILIATE ROUNDUP

Even on CBS we’re not #1.

Hey, whoa!  What’s this?  It’s Regis!  Regis drinks in the applause, pushing Dave aside to enjoy it all himself.  It’s been awhile since he’s gotten an ovation.   It’s all for him and he doesn’t want Dave stealing even a drop of it.

DAVE: “It’s Regis!   Hello, Regis.   You look wonderful.  What brings you around?”

REGIS: “I can’t believe you’re ending this show. Ed Sullivan should see this place.  You know, I’ve been coming around here for decades.”
DAVE: “You know, you’ve been here, like, 150 times, more than anyone else . . . seems like more than 150, but . . . “

REGIS: “But now you’re leaving!  Where does that leave Regis?  What am I gonna go? These people won’t know where I am!”

DAVE: “I got my own problems.”

REGIS: “I have an idea.   How about booking me for the last show?”

DAVE: “Last show?   No dice.  Sorry, Booked solid.   We couldn’t even squeeze you in for this bit.”

They then chat a bit about Regis being a master communicator.

REGIS: “”How about letting me be on your second-to-last show?”

DAVE: “Well, now we’re getting someplace . . .  no, that’s not possible.”

REGIS: “Too late! Because Regis is ON the second-to-last show!”

Say goodnight, Regis.

Regis exits out the back of the house to great applause.  Paul and the band play peppy music, hoping that would make Regis exit peppy.  It didn’t.

ACT 2

TOP TEN FAMOUS LAST WORDS

It was decided a longtime ago that Dave would have a Top Ten information blue card no matter what the Top Ten topic.  The informational blue card explains why we are doing a Top Ten in this category.   This actually made it easier for me because it removed my having to decide whether one was needed.  When the category was obvious, Dave usually would not even refer to the informational blue card, which I thought would be the case tonight.    But much to my surprise, he read the topic lead-in to help sell the premise.

“I’m feeling great”- Douglas Fairbanks

“Et tu, Brute” – Julius Caesar

“I’m bored with it all” – Winston Churchill

Not only was I surprised he referred to it, but I was pretty shocked when I watched at home and it stayed in.  Dave’s explanation to what didn’t need explaining is usually the first thing cut when the show is long. But here it stayed.

I hope I write something Wednesday night.  I don’t want the Famous Last Words list to be the last thing I ever go on.

TOP TEN FAMOUS LAST WORDS

  1. “Lightning! Everyone under the tree!”
  2. “You’re parked in my spot, Mr. Capone”
  3. “Bring the karaoke machine over to the hot tub”
  4. “Do you guys hear a drone?”
  5. “Thanks for seeing me, Dr. Oz.”
  6. “Damn right I’m healthy enough for sex”
  7. “May I take a selfie, Ms. Streisand?”
  8. “We’ll save money by hitchhiking”
  9. “Jack Hanna said it won’t bite.”
  10. “One scoop of Blue Bell Ice Cream, please.”

Let’s say hello to our good friend, Rupert.

Rupert joins Dave for a brief chat of those harrowing days of Fun With Rupert.  Dave would send Rupert out among various city establishments.  Dave would be hiding nearby in a van with a walkie-talkie.   Rupert would have a small camera embedded in his eyeglasses, and an earpiece to hear what Dave was saying.  Rupert would then repeat whatever Dave said to the proprietor or customer.  And why did we stop doing this?   Says Rupert, “Because somebody pulled a knife on us.”  Wow!  What a team player!  Rupert says a guy “pulled a knife on us.”   On US!   Us, as in he and Dave.   No, Rupert, a guy pulled a knife on you.  Just you.  Dave was Merlin Perkins safely tucked away in the van.

We then take a look at some of the greatest hits of “Fun With Rupert.”  The very first installment was December 2, 1994.

The poor woman at the restaurant . . . . I was there for that.   And afterwards, I had to approach her and ask if she would sign a release form so we could show her on the TV.    She had no ear for me.   She wanted nothing to do with me if I had anything to do with him (Rupert).  How did we get the woman to sign?  It was the great Jill Leiderman who got the job done.  Chased her down blocks away and knocked on the taxi window.   And somehow, Jill being Jill, got the woman to sign.

ACT 3:

BILL MURRAY

Did you recognize the introduction?   It was the same one from his first Late Night appearance back in 1982.   The scrim rises and two models wheel out a huge “Good Bye, Dave” cake.   And then tumbling out of the cake is the great Bill Murray.   He is gobbed up in cake frosting.  He hugs Dave, leaving much of the icing on the host, and then proceeds into the audience to hug some who want to be hugged, and wiping cake frosting on the faces of others.   Dave praises the professionalism of Bill Murray.  If you ever think of doing anything like this, don’t forget the protective cakes goggles.

Dave shares a little Late Show trivia. Bill Murray was our first guest at Late Night in 1982.  And he was our first guest here on the Late Show in 1993.   Here at the Ed, Bill came rushing through the side doors by the band.  He was out of breath, exhausted.    He had mistakenly gone to the other theater and didn’t realize Dave had a new place.  He raced over and rushed through the side door from 53rd Street to inside the theater.    And ever since, we have referred to those doors as The Bill Murray Doors.

“Caddyshack” — it was 35 years ago.   It was written by Bill’s brother, and Bill adlibbed most of his scenes.  What he remembers about it was it was shot in Florida in the winter, so nobody was in a rush to get the film done.   Not many lines were written for him, so he had to improvise.  They liked what he was doing so he kept at it.

Bill always has something when he’s on the show.  He puts a lot into each appearance.  I knew that, but not until you see the highlight reel do you realize how much fun he brought to the show every time he was here.

And then Bill runs out to Broadway and gathers those who couldn’t get in.  At the intersection of Broadway and 53rd, Bill leads a chorus of “All We Are Saying, Is Give Worldwide Pants a Chance.”

ANNOUNCE: “Join us tomorrow for Dave’s final show!  An hour of fun and surprises!  Also, tickets are still available for June, July, and Augusts.  Send your request to:
Summer Tickets

The Ed Sullivan Theater

1697 Broadway

New York, New York, 10019

ACT 7:

BOB DYLAN

From his new album, “Shadows in the Night,” Bob Dylan performed “the Night We Called It A Day.”  I was hoping for something more Bob Dylan-ish, but who am I to question Bob Dylan?   He hit it perfectly.  I should realize by now that he knows what he’s doing.”

“The Night We Called It A Day”

And in closing –

In Memoriam:

Kathleen Ankers

Dorothy Chambers

Calvert Deforest

Kevin Drone

Michael “Doc” Goldsmith

Michele O’Callaghan

Thomas Richards

Bobby Sevene

Leonard Tepper

Bill Wendell

Benny Williams

And that was our show for Tuesday, May 19, 2015.

The party at the Friars Club on Saturday night . . .  I was asked who was there.  Anybody who was once somebody was there.   Great night.  Great fun.

The Bill Murray highlight clip . . . I smiled when I saw Bill doing “The Cape Thing” with Paul.   Every Friday, Paul would sing during the ACT 5, recreating the James Brown thing with the cape.  A surprise celebrity would come out and try to escort the exhausted James Brown/Paul Shaffer off the stage.   Halfway off, the call of the audience would ‘force’ James Brown to return to the microphone for more.  Paul would recreate this every Friday.  On this one Friday, writers’ segment producer Jill Leiderman had no one to come in with the cape and try to escort Paul off the stage.  She desperately needed somebody . . . anybody.   I suggested Bill Murray.  She grimaced a bit and said, “No, he’s out of town.”  I hesitated, then told her “No, he’s not.”  She wondered how I knew.   Bill Murray lived in my area at the time.  His kids went to the same elementary school as my girls.   I drove my girls in to school this day and walked them inside.  As I was leaving, I saw a guy with a very interesting Russian-style winter hat.   And then just as I passed him, I realized it was Bill Murray.  Pretty cool sighting.  I told Jill the story and she soon got on the horn.  She called Bill Murray and he agreed to come on.   Before hanging up, he asked, “How did you know I was around?”   Jill laughed, but wouldn’t give up her source.   “I got my ways,” was all she offered.

I was watching the CBS Sunday Morning Show this weekend.   I was half-listening as I was in the middle of ironing.   I was ironing some shirts because I had a lineup of shirts for the next 3 days of shows.  I was going to wear a tie for each show.  You never know who is in the audience.   So I was half-listening to Bob Schieffer and every now and then his guest would say something that would catch my interest.   I would double my listening effort for the rest of the interview, but then Bob wouldn’t repeat the name of the guest.  Who was he talking to?  So here is a suggestion to Bob and the CBS Morning Show while I still have a soap box.   While the show is on, many people are doing something else, perhaps eating breakfast, reading the Sunday paper, or like me, ironing shirts for work.   They miss the introduction.  And then when you hear something and listen closer, you never get to find out who was being interviewed.  My tip o’ the day: repeat the guest’s name at the end of each interview.  A simple, “Thank you, Senator Moynihan” would to the trick.

One Late Show left and I’m talking about Bob Schieffer.

Here’s something to take with you when the Wahoo isn’t around.   When watching a late night talk show and there is a cutaway to the bandleader or the announcer for no apparent reason, there is a good chance an edit has just been made.   It’s fun to play the game.   We used to do it all the time; either a cutaway to Paul, or years ago, a cutaway to an audience member.    Now our edits usually come right after a video clip.  All the shows do it.

Yeah, I’m like that rebel magician who tells the secret to all the magic tricks.

I’m waiting for the elevator on the 12th floor to go down just before the show.   Receptionist/Communication head Art Kelly is on the phone with a fan.   The patience of Art Kelly is just incredible.  The nonsense calls he gets are endless, yet he handles every call with professionalism and politeness that isn’t warranted.    It’s why I had to laugh when the elevator doors were closing and I hear Art sweetly snap into the phone, “Well, call us back next Monday then.”

Hey, how ‘bout that?   I’m not alone!   From near-sighted Wahoo reader Clay Thomas:

“I loved your quick story about memorizing the eye chart in school.  I did the same thing because I didn’t want to wear glasses.  It worked once but the second time I tried it I screwed up.   I memorized the smallest line but couldn’t remember the line right above it.   The test nurse was incredulous.   ‘How can you read the smallest line but you can’t read the bigger one right above it!!??’”

Yeah, let that be a lesson, parents.   Kids can be stupid for the stupidest of reasons.

Are They Still Reading The Wahoo Gazette?

From Appleton, Wisconsin, it’s Rick Steenis.   Is Rick Steenis still reading the Wahoo Gazette?”

This concludes another installment of Are They Still Reading the Wahoo Gazette?

 

CAMEO MENTION OF AN AFL NEWSGROUP ORIGINAL

Our dear friends no longer with us, Boston Bill Enswiler, and Maybeso Laura Ryan.

This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF AN AFL NEWSGROUP ORIGINAL

 

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

From Halifax, Nova Scotia, it’s Glenn Wadman.

This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee

mikemack@aol.com

www.mikemcintee.wordpress.com

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3 comments

  1. Helen Read · May 25, 2015

    Hi Mike. Did you do a Wahoo or blog entry for the final show? The Late Show website is a shell of its former self, and clicking on the Wahoo brings up error messages.

    Like

  2. jed · May 26, 2015

    Thanks for posting this here. Been waiting for your take on the last two shows! And THANK YOU for keeping us in the loop all these years…

    Like

  3. Tab Maryland · May 26, 2015

    Thanks for giving us the final Gazette! And good luck with your next career!

    Like

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